


Breathe Me

by sammysouffle (talesandthings)



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Not Really Character Death, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 14:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11648106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesandthings/pseuds/sammysouffle
Summary: He sits outside Foggy's window every night. He knows it's creepy. But Foggy's evened out breathing, the slow, steady beat of his heart gives Matt reassurance. It also grounds him, gives him something to hold on to. It also reminds him what it was like to be alive.





	Breathe Me

He sits outside Foggy's window every night. He knows it's creepy. But Foggy's evened out breathing, the slow, steady beat of his heart gives Matt reassurance. It also grounds him, gives him something to hold on to. It also reminds him what it was like to be alive. To have a heartbeat. To have blood coursing through your veins. To breathe in the stale air that lingers in New York, but still feel  _so_  good. He misses all of it. 

Matt never lets Foggy know that he's out here. He can't. He can't let his once best friend see him like this. Especially not when he still grieves for him. Some nights, Foggy's breathes through his mouth instead of his nose, and the smell of salt lingers in the air. The knowledge that his friend had been crying leaves Matt's chest tight and his stomach in knots. It's during these nights that he wants to let Foggy know that he's out here. That he's not alive... per se. But he's here.

He doesn't. 

  
Foggy's all alone. He doesn't let anyone in. He drowns himself in his work. He sometimes even forgets to eat. He's been drinking. A lot. Matt can smell the whiskey on him almost every night. The smell is worse on the nights he cries himself to sleep. Matt hates being the reason his friend is so miserable. 

  
Tonight he’s relaxed, though. Much to his relief, Matt can’t smell even a trace of alcohol on him. He sits there with the back of his skull pressed against Foggy’s window for what seems like hours. He takes in every little detail about his best friend. He doesn’t remember much. He doesn’t know what life was like when he was alive. He just knows that Foggy’s the closest thing he had to a family.

***

When Matt gets back home that night, he hears a familiar heartbeat waiting up for him in their shared apartment.

“You’re still awake,” he says dryly.  

“Did you tell him?” Elektra cuts right to the chase.

She’s the only one who knows that he’s back. She’s been trying to help him remember his past life. It’s thanks to her that Matt even knows who Foggy is.

Matt takes off his hoodie and tosses it aside before finding his way to the couch. “No,” he replies as he takes a seat next to her.

“Then why do you visit him every night, Matthew, if you have no intention of telling him that you’re-”

“That I’m what?” Matt scoffs. “Alive? You need a heartbeat to be alive, Elektra.”

“I never knew your… friend while you were alive but I’d like to think I know him now. And from what I can tell, he’d just be glad to have you back, Matthew.”

“Yeah, he’d be elated to have a zombie for a friend. Someone who can easily snap his neck if he lost control.”

Matt hears Elektra tilt her head to the side. He can feel her curious gaze as he says, “You’re not being controlled anymore. You’re free.”

“I know that Elektra but I’m still a danger to him. To everyone.”

She stays quiet. An uncomfortable silence falls between them. She pulls the rug from right under his feet when she opens her mouth again. “He just started seeing someone.” 

  
Matt freezes at that. He takes in a dry gulp. If he had a heart, it would probably break into a million pieces right now.

“It’s someone he knows from work.”

“Is he good?” Matt decides to ask. He needs Foggy to be safe.

“From what I could tell? Yeah. He seems like a lovely guy. Has been giving Franklin his space.”

“Good.” Matt nods. His throat tight with emotions. “That’s good.”

“Anyway, I am heading off to bed. You can join me for once if you’d like.”

“You know I can’t sleep,” Matt points out.

“I didn’t say you had to. You could just lay awake for all I care. But I think we both know you need this tonight.” Matt hears her get off the couch before holding out her hand towards him.

Matt only hesitates for a second before taking it and following her back to her room. She lays her head down on his chest and he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. She’s warm. This feels comfortable. Nice.

“Elektra?” He calls out as her breathing starts to even out.

“Yeah?"

Matt waits a few more seconds before saying, “Please look out for him.”

“Always, Matthew.” He can feel her smile against his chest and that makes him smile too.


End file.
